Craphole Island Idol
by xlostangelx
Summary: What happend when the three morethanslightly insane judges and overzealous host of the hit TV show United States Idol crash on Craphole Island? Why, a competition, of course!


**Hiya, people! Welcome to my fic, Craphole Island Idol. It's a crossover between my two favorite shows, American Idol and Lost! This chapter is just sort of a prologue, where you find out who gets to compete. Next chapter they'll actually sing, and you can vote by telling me who you want kicked off in your reviews. At the beginning of every chapter, I'll announce the results. For the first couple rounds, I may split it up into two chapters because there will be so many people singing. This is a very AU fic. The tailies have been reunited with the fuselage folk, and Aaron has been born, but Boone and Shannon are still alive. Why is it like this? Becuz I'm the author and I say so! And this is supposed to be humorous, I'm not much of a humor writer, but I'm trying!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or American Idol.**

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"IT'S A PLANE!"

The cry could be heard far and wide across the island. Indeed, there was a small craft heading towards the island. People began running around in a panic, stocking the signal fire, gathering stuff, that no one noticed that the plane was not coming to rescue them. It was crashing.

Once this became apparent, people began screaming and running around in circles like chickens with their heads cut off. The island seemed to shake as the plane, which looked like a private jet, crashed not too far down the beach. Once it looked like nothing was going to blow up any more, people began stampeding over to have a look.

Jack, being Doctor Superhero, naturally pushed his way through the crowd.

"Are you okay?" He called into the plane.

Many of those in the crowd let out a gasp as four people stepped out of the plane, three men and one woman.

"I don't believe it!" Shannon cried, "Its Andy Johnson, Paulina Adbul, Myron Powell, and Bryan Shorecrest, judges and host of the hit reality music TV show, United States Idol,"

Many of the other Americans murmured their recognition.

"Yes, so it would seem," One of the men, a tall guy with dark hair, hairy arms, and a tight-fitting black tee, said with an irritable British accent. This was obviously Myron.

"We crashed! Oh my God!" The woman, who had brownish hair, revealing clothes and _way_ too much make-up, sobbed, running around in a panic. This was none other than Paulina.

"Yo, Paulina dawg, dude calm dawg yo, all okay dawg, no worries dude, yo," A large black man tried to calm her. This must be Andy.

Paulina, somehow, was able to understand this. She stopped running around, and simply stood in front of the crowd, still crying.

The last man, a tiny blonde guy who looked hike he went through a bottle of hair gel a day, started panicking instead.

"We're gonna miss the premiere! We have to be there! I can't host a show on a damn deserted island!" He cried.

"Shut up, Bryan," Myron snapped at him.

"So…uhh," Jack began, not sure what to say after this display of utter weirdness from the four of them, "Are you guys okay?"

They all four began to speak at once and all that could be hear were random bits, such as "we'll miss the premiere", "Oh my god!" "Dawg!" and "What the hell do you think?"

"One at a time, please!" Jack stepped back, more than slightly scared of this somewhat insane team.

"Yo, dawg, we're alive, dude, yo, pilot's dead, dawg, unhurt dude, yo, dawg pilot heart attack, dude," Andy explained.

"Uh…yeah, okay," Jack pretended he actually had some idea of what the man was talking about.

"You guys must be pretty shaken up. Why don't you go over to our camp, and we'll get what we can of your luggage," Kate suggested, appearing by Jack's side.

Paulina, Andy, and Bryan nodded, heading over to the camp. Myron hesitated for a moment, glaring at them.

"Be careful with the stuff," He told them irritably before heading after the others.

Kate, Jack, and some of the other castaways headed over to the plane and began to find what they could underneath the bashed and broken hunk of metal. They began carrying the stuff over to where the four sat, eating some boar meat.

"Who's is this?" Boone asked them, carrying a large black suitcase.

Before anyone could answer, the suitcase popped open, dumping at least a hundred black and baby blue t-shirts onto the sand. Boone smirked.

"Ah, these must be Myron's," He said, earning him a glare from the British man.

**Several Hours Later...**

"There's nothing to do around here," Bryan whined, "We're missing the premiere!"

"We've heard it, Bryan," Myron grumbled.

"He's right," Paulina sighed.

"Well, dudes, there's a golf course, and there's the ocean, which you can swim in, except there are sharks…" Hurley trailed off, realizing his suggestion may not be so great after all.

"Yo, dudes, idea, dawg," Andy piped up, "dudes, we, like, compete, Island Idol, all sing, dude, dawg, yo, fun, yo,"

"I think what he's trying to say," Paulina began, addressing the confused stares Andy was getting, "Is that we should have a competition, like out island version of United States Idol, Craphole Island idol,"

"Yes! Let's do it!" Bryan exclaimed excitedly, "I must host! Shorecrest in!"

"That's not a bad idea," Jack mused, while the other castaways nodded in agreement.

"We could choose the twelve participants tonight, and then we could start round one in a day or two, and we could go on to find the ultimate Craphole Island Idol," Paulina put in excitedly.

"So it's agreed?" Bryan asked, "Tonight, we start Craphole Island Idol?"

Everyone spoke their agreement, all except for Myron.

"Great, more crappy singers to listen to," Myron said sarcastically, "but, I'm afraid I'm outvoted. I suppose I'll have to live with it,"

"You bet you will!" Bryan cried," Okay, its official-Shorecrest IN!"

**Several Hours Later…**

Bryan Shorecrest stood on a large hunk of metal serving as a stage. An excited audience stood in front of him, the judges off to the side.

"Well, I am excited to say that our 12 contestant have been chosen," He exclaimed.

All the 40-some hopefuls in the audience stared at him anxiously, awaiting the results.

"Now, will you please come up here if I call your name?" Bryan began, "Okay, first of the twelve is…Ana Lucia Cortez,"

The audience clapped and cheered as she flounced up to the stage and took a place next to Bryan.

"Next…Charlie Pace!"

That was no surprise to everyone, considering his past musical career.

"Hurley Reyes!"

This came as more of a surprised, but Hurley was proud nonetheless.

"Kate Austen!"

Kate looked a bit embarrassed as she joined the other three onstage.

"Boone Carlyle!"

Shannon stared after him jealously as he headed up to the stage, a surprised smile on his face.

"Shannon Rutherford!"

Her jealous expression vanished as she strode confidently to join her brother onstage. Sayid smiled at her.

"John Locke!"

This was even more surprising than Hurley, but Locke didn't seem to care.

"Sawyer!"

Sawyer looked smug as usual as he joined the growing crowd on stage.

"Jack Shepherd!"

Sawyer glared at Jack. He had been hoping to use this competition as a chance to win Kate's affection.

"Claire Littleton!"

Claire looked shocked for a moment, then pleased as Charlie beckoned her onto the stage.

"Walt Lloyd!"

Walt handed Vincent's leash to his dad as he ran excitedly up onto the stage.

"Aaaand… last but not least…wait a second," Bryan looked up from the paper over to the three judges, "Is this right?"

They nodded.

"Okay then…last but not least…Vincent!"

Vincent barked happily and bounded onto the stage, taking a seat beside his master. The rest of the hopefuls were disappointed, especially that they had lost to a dog.

"Well, that's all for now, folks. Next week, same time, same place, we begin Round One of the competition! These are our twelve lucky contestants, but who will become the next Craphole Island Idol? You'll just have to wait and see…Shorecrest Out!"


End file.
